Hear me out, I can explain.
As development communicators, it is important that we assess our performance in the present, so we know how to improve in the future. However, what we know about ourselves on paper doesn’t always match what the real world says about us. That is why we have separate assessments: one for how we know ourselves on paper, and another for how we see ourselves based on evidence.
At a glance, here’s a breakdown of my scores.
And so we ask…
Among the qualities listed, which quality would be the one that you need to work on the most? Why?
“Resourceful”, “Interested in and loves people” are my lowest-rated qualities. For “Interested in and loves people”, I believe it is because I have been used to just having access to things that are within my reach, and that would have been sufficient in passing my exams. I will admit that I was to some degree sheltered growing up.
Given your ratings, what keeps you from getting that 1.00 self-rating?
My reluctance/hesitation to break out of my comfort zone is one major reason. Another is the anxiety towards not getting things perfectly the first time around. These problems are not impossible to solve, though, and I have chosen to make the conscious decision to step out of my comfort zone, perhaps one step at a time or leaps, if necessary. No matter how daunting the challenge may be, as long as it is for my own growth, I will face it with open arms.
Among the skills listed, which skill have you developed the highest competency? What contributed to the development of that skill?
“Writing clearly and effectively” — this is if I put enough time in polishing my work. Meticulousness over the smallest of grammatical details in my English classes, as well as constant exposure to different types of media (e.g. formal literature, informal social media, etc.) are among the top influences.
Among the skills listed, which skill would be the one that you need to work on the most to develop? Why?
“Gathering data” — this is related to my being sheltered. I admit to being used to being spoon-fed information that cannot be outright searched through the internet (although I am quite used to researching journal articles and other resources online). In line with the goals of development communication as a course, I have to become more involved with the people I am supposed to serve — no longer as detached as I had been before.
That’s great and all. But what does the Stegosaurus have to do with it?
When I was three years old, my dad bought two posters containing pictures of dinosaurs. We put them side-by-side on the wall in our bedroom. Filled with wonder, I asked my dad what his favorite dinosaur was, to which he quickly replied, “The T-rex!”
Of course, I had to know what my mom’s favorite dinosaur was, too, so off I went to bother her during work hours. “Mama! Mama! Ano pong favorite dinosaur ninyo?” Referring to the poster on the left, she picked the Stegosaurus – which, to this day, I still associate strongly with her. Had it not been for its iconic back plates, it probably wouldn’t have caught my mother’s attention, and I probably wouldn’t have spent hours reading up on why Stegosauruses had ridiculous-looking growths protruding behind them.
Growing up, I felt the world becoming smaller and smaller. With age came the fear of failure, and so did the hesitation to tread into the unknown. Sixteen years later, I conducted my first interview as a development communicator-in-training; in front of them stood not a bumbling ball of energy, but an anxious, angsty college student contented with the simplest of answers. Nothing beyond the questions, just what was necessary. The things I were known for when I was younger – curiosity, resourcefulness, imagination, industry – they had all but faded away.
And that’s a bit of a problem.
As development communicators, we are at the forefront of real change. We must be for the people. We are the bridge between communities, between those who have and those who have not. And we must have the same curiosity in interviewing a farmer about what might make his life better, as with a child in finding out that a Stegosaurus uses its plates to absorb heat from the sun to warm itself during cold nights.
I want to reconnect with my younger self. I want to learn how to be as interested in the world as he was. I want to be as brave as he was in stepping outside of the comfort zone.
But I wouldn’t want to become him again.
Because being good is different from doing well; that three-year-old boy has experienced so little of what got me to where I am now, and he knows so little of what I can do now. Rediscovery is so much better than simple retrogression. We look back and dig deep, but let’s let this fossil remain in the museum. Appreciate. No longer are we in the age of dinosaurs; it’s time to head back to the present.
And into the future we cast our eyes.
BLOG 6050 