While people seemed to know me so well, I was having a hard time knowing who I really am. Growing up, I was too busy pleasing everyone that I could not make time for myself. The routine is waking up, go to school, smile at everybody, maintain good grades to be part of the honors, play the piano on the music room after class, then go home. Despite all the achievements, I never felt satisfaction. I don’t even know the purpose of my existence.
Repeating the routine everyday made my life toxic. I felt so exhausted pleasing everyone around me and not having a clear definition of who I really am in my mind. Later on, I was clinically diagnosed with depression. These were the hardest days of my life. But it was one of the greatest blessings that came to me. Having depression was never easy but it gave me the chance to allot time for myself. During the dark days of my life, I was able to write songs and essays with purpose. Because of depression, I realized what I wanted to be—a servant to the people who are experiencing mental health problems.
They say that in UP, it is hard to get in but is harder to get out. I admit feeling the pressure with those words. However, even right before I enter the university, the hardship of getting into something and a greater challenge of getting out of it was already on my list of experiences. To accept that you are depressed is hard, but getting out of depression is harder. Nevertheless, I was able to get out and survived. That is why I firmly believe that I can make it through whatever challenges awaits me here in the university.
I am Nicca Angelette Paular, an 18 year-old freshman taking BS Development Communication, more than excited to serve the people with a torch of hope. Just wait and together we will make the world a better place, where the light is so bright that there would be no place for darkness.
BLOG 6050 